December Approaches

Just watch those suicide rates rise!

I wonder if there is a direct correlation between discount sales going up and people jumping out of windows. Like, for every five percent that Kmart cuts off the latest fashions, we lose five percent of the future chess champions of the United States.

Anyhow, I'm back from Thanksgiving with the newly extended family, feeling frisky, ready for a good brawl. I will be turning 30 next week, so I'd better get all my youthful indiscretions out of the way now. I mean, within this week. December 7th, Pearl Harbor Day. Tom Waits birthday. That's when it's all coming to a screeching halt.

Who wants to help me humiliate myself before I am bound by law to resemble an adult?