Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Message the the Centaurs: We Will Break You

Actual text from Bush's speech last night:

"A hopeful society has institutions of science and medicine that do not cut ethical corners and that recognize the matchless value of every life. Tonight I ask you to pass legislation to prohibit the most egregious abuses of medical research, human cloning in all its forms, creating or implanting embryos for experiments, creating human-animal hybrids, and buying, selling or patenting human embryos. Human life is a gift from our creator, and that gift should never be discarded, devalued or put up for sale."

Freeman: Excuse me? Did you say...animal-human hybrids? Are you joking?

Bush: "Didn't you hear about the Ant-Women? The Centaurs? The spiders with two...human...eyes? The Creator, ahem, intelligent designer, would never have brought about the seductive Bee-Girls! May God Have Mercy on What We Have Done."

7 comments:

  1. i was gonna post on this if you didn't. because. wow.

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  2. The jerk's probably referring to using pig organs in place of human organs since there's such a shortage.

    grr.

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  3. Of Pig Organs?

    Anne...do you quietly wish that they can splice together enough birds to make birdmen?

    I know you do.

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  4. I am the product of genetic splicing between a human and a can of sliced peaches.

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  5. I never thought I'd say this but...

    Dan Trujillo must...be...destroyed! We will not tolerate you "Splicies" in the Good United States.

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  6. no, but i quietly wish they weren't allowed to give lungs to &$%#@% smokers and leave people with genetic disease without when transplants are necessary.... i loudly wish we could find a way to convince more people to donate their organs when they die... and i pray that we can find ways (like pig lungs) to make it so everyone can breathe.

    sigh.

    the.future.is.scary.

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  7. sorry, that was more serious than anyone really needed.

    [insert happy goofy statements here]

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