The MFer Award

Yesterday, I found a copy of "It was a Dark and Stormy Night" which was a book compiled by Scott Rice in 1984, memorializing that year's winners of the Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest. The contest goes on, and is as wonderfully wicked as ever. For those unfamiliar with the competition, it is to write the funniest opening line to the worst novel never written. There are genre categories and an overall winner.

The 2006 Grand Prize winner?

Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean.

Jim Guigli
Carmichael, CA

Fantastic!

Anyhow... this has inspired me to being an unofficial award of my very own. I shall call it the MFer Award (for now, until I come up with a better name.) Here's how it will work:

1. I would like the title and single-sentence premise of the worst play you can think of. It should conjure, instantly, a failed and hilariously bad evening of Theatre.
2. We'll have three genres and an "overall" prize. Drama, Comedy, and Performance Art.
3. Each genre award winner will receive a check for $18! Overall winner will receive an additional prize of... $18. Which means you'll get $36 bucks. Hell yeah. All winners will have their picture posted on my blog and money straight from my personal checking account.
4. E-mail your Title and Premise to mattfr@gmail.com.

Let's see how this goes.

Winners will be announced (if there's enough interest) on May 1st 2007.