About Me

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Matthew Freeman is a Brooklyn based playwright with a BFA from Emerson College. His plays include THE DEATH OF KING ARTHUR, REASONS FOR MOVING, THE GREAT ESCAPE, THE AMERICANS, THE WHITE SWALLOW, AN INTERVIEW WITH THE AUTHOR, THE MOST WONDERFUL LOVE, WHEN IS A CLOCK, GLEE CLUB, THAT OLD SOFT SHOE and BRANDYWINE DISTILLERY FIRE. He served as Assistant Producer and Senior Writer for the live webcast from Times Square on New Year's Eve 2010-2012. As a freelance writer, he has contributed to Gamespy, Premiere, Complex Magazine, Maxim Online, and MTV Magazine. His plays have been published by Playscripts, Inc., New York Theatre Experience, and Samuel French.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Rain is SO not Smurfy

Yes, it's true. Endless buckets of soul-crushing rain were falling on us in Manhattan yesterday. Somewhere else, maybe, there wasn't rain. Here...there was.

Auditions were held for the play this weekend, and we still have more to do. But I think I've had it up to my chin with theatre for at least the afternoon. Last night, Phantasmaphile and I went to the 92nd Street Y to see a lecture on Jungian readings of Fairy Tales. Twas fun and illuminating.

So, in the meantime, considering my brain is full of headshots and the gray day... I think I'd like to talk about something entirely different... entirely unrelated.


Smurfette was created by Gargamel (the Smurf's arch-nemesis) to destroy the Smurfs. Before her, there were only male smurfs, and everyone had adventures, but no one was full of sexual jealousy. Sexual jealousy is really un-Smurfy.

Anyhow... Gargamel creates this little temptress to infiltrate the Smurf's little all-male community and create havoc by doing stuff like bending over to pick up a leaf and expecting the Smurfs to kill themselves carrying her bags and singing really out of key. She was a pill, basically. She also had black hair...a problem that would quickly be rectified.

Her ingredients (which I just Googled) included "The chatter of a magpie, the guile of a vixen and the disposition of a shrew...an adder's tongue...a peck of a bird's brain...the hardest stone for a heart." Gargamel called the introduction of a girl smurf "A ruthless curse that will make them beg for mercy."

Gargamel was going through a really painful divorce at the time.

Papa Smurf (who is apparently completely uninterested in girls) decides to make a real Smurf of her, a good Smurf.

I don't remember what magical brew does it (probably Bacardi) but she is transformed into a vapid Blonde who is permanently attached to a mirror. Sure, the Smurfs still fancy her well-enough, but they also sort of have disdain for her because she's completely self-obsessed and blonde. She's essentially made harmless by being given a frontal lobotomy, otherwise known as "blonde hair on tv."

Now what sort of message did this send to the people of my generation? I beg you to tell me.


jones said...

It might explain why I've only dated brunettes with self image issues...

P'tit Boo said...

My first kiss was with a nine year old. I was nine too.
He had a smurf collection and our love was short lived as I met him on vacation. He had one smurfette in his collection .The roller smurfette.
He gave it to me when I left. His one smurfette !
I haven't thought about this in a long time !
I know it wasn't the point of your post. But thank you !!!!

ivan said...

This has got to be the funniest post yet. I see you are still posting during work hours, matt. hope all is well.