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Matthew Freeman is a Brooklyn based playwright with a BFA from Emerson College. His plays include THE DEATH OF KING ARTHUR, REASONS FOR MOVING, THE GREAT ESCAPE, THE AMERICANS, THE WHITE SWALLOW, AN INTERVIEW WITH THE AUTHOR, THE MOST WONDERFUL LOVE, WHEN IS A CLOCK, GLEE CLUB, THAT OLD SOFT SHOE and BRANDYWINE DISTILLERY FIRE. He served as Assistant Producer and Senior Writer for the live webcast from Times Square on New Year's Eve 2010-2012. As a freelance writer, he has contributed to Gamespy, Premiere, Complex Magazine, Maxim Online, and MTV Magazine. His plays have been published by Playscripts, Inc., New York Theatre Experience, and Samuel French.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Hunka versus Joy!

George Hunka gets up all in the face of Joy and calls it stuff that would make a Marine blush.

He takes Joy's lunch money and then tells Joy that if Joy tells Joy's Mom, he'll just kick Joy's ass.

He trips Joy in front of everyone in the cafeteria and Joy is totally humiliated.

He say "Hey Joy!" and Joy says "Yeah?" and he says "You're a jerk, Joy. A complete knee-biter."

Joy comes up to Hunka and says "Why can't we be friends?" and Hunka says, "Friends with you, Joy? Don't make me laugh."

When Joy tries to sleep at night, he fears dreams of Hunka, cackling.

Years ago, Joy was hanging out with all his awesome friends, just being cool and stuff. Hunka ruined all that. Joy never hangs out with anyone awesome anymore, and it's all Hunka's fault.

Joy put on this new shirt that he thought looked totally great, and Hunka made fun of it for, like, weeks.

Hunka kicked Joy's pet fish. Imagine kicking a fish. That's f*cking cold. (Joy really loved that fish, too.)

Hunka put Joy in a scorpion deathlock. If you know anything about wrestling, you know that really hurts.

Joy avoids Hunka's gaze, like a low status monkey.

Hunka likes to make Joy flinch for fun.

Hunka posted this YouTube video of Joy's ex-girlfriend getting high and telling everyone what a lousy lover Joy is. It might be the worst thing that ever happened to Joy. He practically had to move because of it.

Quoth Hunka: "It is a joy that leads to the continuation and valorization of ignorance rather than knowledge."


Note: Apologizes to all involved. I am in a silly mood.


Anonymous said...

The really funny thing about your post is if you flip every "Hunka" and "Joy," that's probably a fair approximation of reality.

Freeman said...

Hey now. I was being silly, but I don't mean to actually pick on George.

MattJ said...

my comments are on james' blog if you are interested