When you travel remember to carry one thing with you. That thing is a wad of fake bills. Then, when a native tries to steal from you, you give him the fake bills and he’s fooled. Trust me… those people are no match for cunning moves like this one. A guy like that has never seen real dollars. He’ll hold up a makeshift revolver and say “Give it up” and you say “Here you go” and you give him the funny money and he grabs it and runs away from you as if you’re made of nuclear fission or radioactive… something or other. As if you’re Hiroshima. As if you’re the Eastern Front.
Even though you’ve lost nothing, take a mental picture of this kid. Take your grievance back to the American embassy. Not long after that, you’ll be home and on TV you’ll see the place you left, this place where you were only a tourist, where you went scuba diving… buried in a sea of fire. You’ll see the very face that robbed you covered in flies and smoke. You’ll be sure it was your fault, and feel guilty, and both of those impulses are right. Still: that’s justice for you.
Then, put on those shoes you like. The ones that are in the back of the closet. You practically forgot they were there. Put those on. You deserve it.
You can read the entire play here.