About Me

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Matthew Freeman is a Brooklyn based playwright with a BFA from Emerson College. His plays include THE DEATH OF KING ARTHUR, REASONS FOR MOVING, THE GREAT ESCAPE, THE AMERICANS, THE WHITE SWALLOW, AN INTERVIEW WITH THE AUTHOR, THE MOST WONDERFUL LOVE, WHEN IS A CLOCK, GLEE CLUB, THAT OLD SOFT SHOE and BRANDYWINE DISTILLERY FIRE. He served as Assistant Producer and Senior Writer for the live webcast from Times Square on New Year's Eve 2010-2012. As a freelance writer, he has contributed to Gamespy, Premiere, Complex Magazine, Maxim Online, and MTV Magazine. His plays have been published by Playscripts, Inc., New York Theatre Experience, and Samuel French.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

The MFer Award

Yesterday, I found a copy of "It was a Dark and Stormy Night" which was a book compiled by Scott Rice in 1984, memorializing that year's winners of the Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest. The contest goes on, and is as wonderfully wicked as ever. For those unfamiliar with the competition, it is to write the funniest opening line to the worst novel never written. There are genre categories and an overall winner.

The 2006 Grand Prize winner?

Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean.

Jim Guigli
Carmichael, CA


Anyhow... this has inspired me to being an unofficial award of my very own. I shall call it the MFer Award (for now, until I come up with a better name.) Here's how it will work:

I would like the title and single-sentence premise of the worst play you can think of. It should conjure, instantly, a failed and hilariously bad evening of Theatre.
2. We'll have three genres and an "overall" prize. Drama, Comedy, and Performance Art.
3. Each genre award winner will receive a check for $18! Overall winner will receive an additional prize of... $18. Which means you'll get $36 bucks. Hell yeah. All winners will have their picture posted on my blog and money straight from my personal checking account.
4. E-mail your Title and Premise to mattfr@gmail.com.

Let's see how this goes.

Winners will be announced (if there's enough interest) on May 1st 2007.


Jigsaw said...

Somebody has to kick this off...

"Love Letters" for the modern era, this is heartwarming, heartrending story about two overweight middle-aged men text messaging each other under the misapprehension that the other one is a single woman. The entire show is presented with giant screens showing what each character is reading and typing. I don't want to give away the ending, but it involves a buddy icon.

Jamespeak said...

The difficult thing is making sure I can compete with as well as not subconsciously rip off some of the blatantly worst plays I've seen in the city.

Jaime said...

These are supposed to be made up plays, right? Not actual unfortunate things we've seen or read?

Freeman said...

Yes. To clarify... these plays should be ficitional. Any resemblence to real productions should be purely coincidental and, frankly, cautionary.