I am going to be a big baby about this, because I can't take it anymore.
The Oscar Nominations came out today and the Visual Effects Category includes War of the Worlds and The Chronicles of Narnia but not STAR WARS?
Look, I know that the Star Wars backlash if fashionable! I am also not going to argue about the merits of the prequels, because darn it, if you think they were no good, or what not, no one is going to sway that opinion.
But for the sake of reasonable behavior, nostalgia and common sense, the highest grossing picture of last year, the final movie in what has been a thirty year journey of expectations and myth-making that's unique in American cinema, the pioneering films of VISUAL EFFECTS AS WE KNOW THEM, and the movie by itself, which has visual effects that makes the Beaver in Narnia look like something out of Wallace and Grommit... for the sake of all that's Holy...why would Revenge of the Sith NOT be nominated for Visual Effects?
It's like...there's no one up there watching us. That all our efforts for some kind of ... spiritual meaning...are just... for God's Sake... even talking about this is just harder than it used to be.
Listen, I don't ask for much. Just a pot to piss in, and to live my life in the manner that I would like. I try, as hard as I can, to make my way through the world without making any massive mistakes. I don't try to harm anyone... I know that I have sometimes...sometimes maybe I've made some mistakes, sure...who hasn't?
Jesus, what's the point? I can hear you all laughing at me through this computer. I can smell the laughter... what is it like? Tapioca. That's right. You're laughter smells like tapioca. No! No it smells like beer and tapioca. Like a bunch of beer fed infants. What the heck am I saying? I don't know anymore... I just don't know.
Look, I am well-aware that some of you think I'm cracking up. Sure, maybe I am. I know the awards season is utterly political...arbitrary. That Oscars mean nothing. Nothing at all. But seriously, these little illusions that make up my life, the systematic denials that I have engaged in just so I can put on my friggin' shoes and go to work every day... it's all I have. You know what I mean, don't you? Don't you?
Look, Star Wars, even the prequels... I mean I know what you're thinking...but I cared about them. CARE about them. Why? Who gives a shit anymore? You? NOT you. Not at all.
What is it that you want? Blood? Here. Here. I don't need it. That's not how things work in this life anyway. You can do tremendous good and be used as someone's toilet, and you can crush people under you feet for a couple of bucks and you will come out shining like a new dime. Of course, we all know that.
But couldn't... I mean for all that's sacred...couldn't someone in the world have gotten past their STUPID, LITTLE, BITTER PREJUDICES? For once? I think that a great man said that once. Don't you? I bet they shot him for it. I bet they did.
(Lies down, bottle in hand, and whistles the opening theme to Star Wars...)
- Matthew Freeman is a Brooklyn based playwright with a BFA from Emerson College. His plays include THE DEATH OF KING ARTHUR, REASONS FOR MOVING, THE GREAT ESCAPE, THE AMERICANS, THE WHITE SWALLOW, AN INTERVIEW WITH THE AUTHOR, THE MOST WONDERFUL LOVE, WHEN IS A CLOCK, GLEE CLUB, THAT OLD SOFT SHOE and BRANDYWINE DISTILLERY FIRE. He served as Assistant Producer and Senior Writer for the live webcast from Times Square on New Year's Eve 2010-2012. As a freelance writer, he has contributed to Gamespy, Premiere, Complex Magazine, Maxim Online, and MTV Magazine. His plays have been published by Playscripts, Inc., New York Theatre Experience, and Samuel French.