About Me

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Matthew Freeman is a Brooklyn based playwright with a BFA from Emerson College. His plays include THE DEATH OF KING ARTHUR, REASONS FOR MOVING, THE GREAT ESCAPE, THE AMERICANS, THE WHITE SWALLOW, AN INTERVIEW WITH THE AUTHOR, THE MOST WONDERFUL LOVE, WHEN IS A CLOCK, GLEE CLUB, THAT OLD SOFT SHOE and BRANDYWINE DISTILLERY FIRE. He served as Assistant Producer and Senior Writer for the live webcast from Times Square on New Year's Eve 2010-2012. As a freelance writer, he has contributed to Gamespy, Premiere, Complex Magazine, Maxim Online, and MTV Magazine. His plays have been published by Playscripts, Inc., New York Theatre Experience, and Samuel French.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Message the the Centaurs: We Will Break You

Actual text from Bush's speech last night:

"A hopeful society has institutions of science and medicine that do not cut ethical corners and that recognize the matchless value of every life. Tonight I ask you to pass legislation to prohibit the most egregious abuses of medical research, human cloning in all its forms, creating or implanting embryos for experiments, creating human-animal hybrids, and buying, selling or patenting human embryos. Human life is a gift from our creator, and that gift should never be discarded, devalued or put up for sale."

Freeman: Excuse me? Did you say...animal-human hybrids? Are you joking?

Bush: "Didn't you hear about the Ant-Women? The Centaurs? The spiders with two...human...eyes? The Creator, ahem, intelligent designer, would never have brought about the seductive Bee-Girls! May God Have Mercy on What We Have Done."


MattJ said...

i was gonna post on this if you didn't. because. wow.

kirabug said...

The jerk's probably referring to using pig organs in place of human organs since there's such a shortage.


Freeman said...

Of Pig Organs?

Anne...do you quietly wish that they can splice together enough birds to make birdmen?

I know you do.

Dan said...

I am the product of genetic splicing between a human and a can of sliced peaches.

Freeman said...

I never thought I'd say this but...

Dan Trujillo must...be...destroyed! We will not tolerate you "Splicies" in the Good United States.

kirabug said...

no, but i quietly wish they weren't allowed to give lungs to &$%#@% smokers and leave people with genetic disease without when transplants are necessary.... i loudly wish we could find a way to convince more people to donate their organs when they die... and i pray that we can find ways (like pig lungs) to make it so everyone can breathe.



kirabug said...

sorry, that was more serious than anyone really needed.

[insert happy goofy statements here]